Trying on clothes in conventional clothing stores is such an extreme sport.
I have been big for majority of my existence although there was a time when I was malnourished and thin. Do not get me wrong, I am not saying that my being thin was me being malnourished but I was actually malnourished hence I was thin.
I had what I am guessing is one of the childhood diseases caused by poor dietary habits. I think I had the big round stomach with the thin arms and legs. I even had the sores that would not heal so they became infected.
I still remember how everyone was always going on about how I could model. My body size attracted a different reaction, one of reverence and perhaps awe from family.
Then I came to live with my mother when I was 8 years old and I began to gain weight.
Now the attention shifted, people (family) would point out how big I have gotten and it was said in a not so nice way. I would respond that yes I am gaining weight and I am okay.
I was active, I was happy, I was doing well academically.
But the bigger I got the less I enjoyed shopping. Trying on clothes in conventional clothing stores is such an extreme sport.
I hate it in fact.
Society is so Fatphobic and this can take its toll on a person.
I am loving the Fxj#%@ the world attitude most Bigger Women have chosen to adopt. Where they are dressing as they please and embracing their big features.
I especially despise the unwarranted advice regarding losing weight disguised as concern for my well-being.
- I am aware that I am big therefore I don’t need you to point it out to me.
- You do not know what diseases I have or do not have and even if I have them, that is none of your concern
- Stop making a basic need such as eating such a mission by giving big people the eye when you see them eating, it’s not nice.
- The world is already against us, can those close to us just embrace us in totality.
- I am beautiful. Full stop. Not ‘I am beautiful for a big girl’ that -ish needs to stop
I am so happy that I managed to not get bullied for being big although upon closer inspection and reflection, I realised that I allowed myself to gain weight because the fat girl is an acquired taste and this meant that I could remain under the radar of male eyes. Sometimes it worked, at times it meant that old men would approach me from as young as 12 years old.
The world is diverse. It should make room for all types of people. We should all be able to exist fully and wholly as we are.
By Thandeka Jwaha